If I had a Million Dollars

If I had a Million Dollars

Sung to the Tune of “If I had a Million Dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies

 

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

 

Well, I’d buy you a farm

(I would buy you a farm)

 

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

I’d buy you equipment for your farm

Maybe a SeedHawk or a ConservaPak

 

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a K-Hart

A nice no-till disk opener

And if I had a million dollars, I’d buy hybrid seed

 

If I had a million dollars

I’d build a tender truck for our farm

(If I had a million dollars)

You could help

You wouldn’t do no harm

 

If I had a million dollars

Maybe we could put a three inch pump

In there somewhere

We could just go there and fill up sprayers

Like go on the deck and stuff

And there’d all be totes and adjuvants laid out for us

Like little solu-packs and things

DuPont has solu-pack Group 2s

But Dow doesn’t have dry Frontline

Well, can you blame them?

Yeah!

 

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a sprayer

But not a Gregson sprayer, that’s cruel

 

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a low-drift tip

Yep, like an AirMix or a Wilger

 

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you special fertilizers

All them crazy micronutrient claims

 

And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your leftover Score

(If I had a million dollars)

We wouldn’t have to walk to the store

If I had a million dollars

We’d take the Peterbilt, ’cause it costs more

 

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner

But we never did

Of course we didn’t, we had home cooking

And real gravy, not ketchup

That’s right, real gravy made from drippings

 

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a used sprayer

But not a SpraCoupe sprayer, that’s cruel

 

And if I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a drone

A Phantom, or AgEagle

 

If I had a million dollars

(If I had a million dollars)

Well, I’d buy you a GrainVac

Haven’t you always wanted a GrainVac?

 

If I had a million dollars

I’d stop your drift

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I would farm!