Category: Songs

Spraying Song Lyrics

  • Spraying from Seven to Seven (or) Drop Pipes Next Season – Parody

    Spraying from Seven to Seven (or) Drop Pipes Next Season – Parody

    We were long overdue for a new classic rock parody, so we decided to re-tackle one of the greatest rock ballads ever written. With the ongoing success of drop pipes (aka drop arms, drop legs, etc.) in corn, we’re promoting directed spraying in verse.

    If you’d like to read more about the research, check out this article, and this one too. Farmtario also wrote a nice summary from one of our 2022 demos.

    So, this was a tough one, but we feel good about how we laminated a new message over Zeppelin’s tricky cadence and rhymes. It helps if you play the actual song as you read. Rock on:

    There’s a grower who’s sure
    all corn glitters like gold
    and he’s spraying from seven to seven.

    When he’s done, then he knows
    that the products he chose
    will handle the pests that he sprayed for.

    Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
    And he’s spraying from seven to seven.

    He sees signs on them all
    but he wants to be sure
    ‘cause he knows bug poop means that they’re feeding.

    So, he stops for a look
    spits and wipes as he should
    sometimes all of his thoughts are misgivings.

    Ooh, it makes him wonder
    Ooh, it makes him wonder

    There’s a feeling he gets
    when the silks seem too wet
    and his scouting is slowly revealing.

    In his fields he has seen
    in the irrigation rings
    that tarspot’s in the plot where he’s standing.

    Ooh, it makes him wonder
    Ooh, it really makes him wonder

    Maybe he sprayed the corn too soon
    Or too late, it could be too
    ‘cause the timing defies common reason.

    And he goes back in the dawn
    to see what else has gone wrong
    and his checks echo pests that he’s after.

    Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, oh-oh

    If there’s cutworm in your corn row, don’t be alarmed now.
    It may have been coverage or timing.

    But there’s a new way, you can spray now, and in the long run
    there’s time to change the for the next season.

    And it makes him wonder
    Oh, whoa

    Overhead spraying is a no-go
    in case you don’t know
    drop pipes are calling you to try them.

    Diseases come in when the wind blows
    but did you know
    drop pipes cover stalks from end-to-end.

    So, as you drive on down the row
    overhead spray just won’t go
    deep into targets, we all know
    are hard to hit deep down below.

    Next year he can still have gold.
    Using drop pipes isn’t hard.
    Coverage will come to him at last.

    Quick to mount, one and all, yeah
    They barely rock as sprayers roll
    .

    And he’s using drops from seven to seven.

  • If I had a Low Drift Nozzle – Parody

    If I had a Low Drift Nozzle – Parody

    Sung to the tune of “If I had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn

    Here comes the John Deere sprayer — second time today;

    All the insects scatter and hope it goes away;

    How many larvae murdered only Dow can say;

    If I had a low drift nozzle… I’d make somebody spray.

    I don’t believe in modes of action and I don’t believe in rates;

    I don’t believe in agronomists or their shiny steely spades;

    And when I talk with the survivors of that crappy bran bait;

    If I had a low drift nozzle… I would calibrate.

    On canola field margins one hundred thousand wait;

    Smash through truck radiators — or some less humane fate;

    Cry for bertha armyworm, sprayed with organophosphate;

    If I had a low drift nozzle… I would not hesitate.

    I want to raise every chirp — at least I’ve got to try;

    Every time I see them munching, with my compound eyes;

    Situation desperate, echoes of the hoppers cry;

    If I had a low drift nozzle… Some CCA would die.

  • Paint it black – Parody

    Paint it black – Parody

    Never fail, as spring turns to summer we get questions about algal growth in water tanks. There are lots of suggested solutions, but questions about pH antagonism and phytotoxicity seem to linger. In 2021/22 we ran trials to explore how well home-grown algicides like copper, bleach, and ammonia work, and whether they cause antagonistic responses when that carrier water is used on crops. You can see the results here.

    Anticipating those results, we wrote this parody on a Stone’s classic. Not long after it was brought to life by the brilliant minds behind Michigan’s epic podcast “The Vegetable Beet” (Go subscribe right now!). You can hear it in the link below, where Ben Phillips is accompanied by his daughter’s toy tambourine. Crank it up to 11!

    You can even download Ben’s sheet music here.

    I see a white tank and I want it painted black
    No algae anymore, I want my water back
    I see the cart drive up while spraying summer rows
    I have to dump it out until the algae goes

    I see my neighbours’ tanks and they’re all painted black
    With copper sulfate they claim algae won’t come back
    I see them turn their heads and quickly look away
    They see my algae grow in sunlight every day

    I look inside the tank to see if it is black
    I could park it in the shed, or in the shade out back
    Maybe then it’ll fade away and I can face the facts
    It’s not easy filling up when your filters plug with crap

    I wish that my green sea would turn a deeper blue
    If you try chlorine pucks it will clear up for you

    I’ll store my tanks away from that bright summer sun
    Then I’ll spray algae-free before the mornin’ comes

    I see a clean tank ‘cause I had it painted black
    No algae anymore, I got my water back

    I see the cart drive up while spraying summer rows
    Clear water coming out, and no more clogging woes

    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Hmm, hmm, hmm

    I want to see your tank painted black!
    Black as night!
    Black as coal!
    I wanna see the bugs, knocked right out of the sky
    I wanna see it painted, painted, painted black, yea!

  • Larry the Low-Drift Nozzle – Parody

    Larry the Low-Drift Nozzle – Parody

    Bridgette Readel (@BMReadel) is back! This time singing that holiday classic “Larry the Low-Drift Nozzle”! Read the lyrics and then head to the bottom of the article to enjoy Bridgette’s rendition.

    You know Flat Fan and Flood Jet and Pulse Width and Wilger,
    Hypro and Greenleaf and TeeJet and Lechler.
    But do you recall
    The most famous nozzle of all?

    Larry the low-drift nozzle
    Had a very “big-drop” spray
    And if you ever saw it
    You’d never see it drift away.

    All of the other nozzles
    Used to laugh and call him names
    They never let poor Larry
    Join them on their spray boom frames.

    Then one windy summer’s eve
    Farmer came to say
    “Larry with your spray so coarse
    Won’t you fight this gusty force?”

    Then how the neighbours loved him
    As they shouted out with glee
    “Larry the low-drift nozzle
    Stewardship for chemistry!”

  • If I had a Million Dollars – Parody

    If I had a Million Dollars – Parody

    If I had a Million Dollars

    Sung to the Tune of “If I had a Million Dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies

     

    If I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

     

    Well, I’d buy you a farm

    (I would buy you a farm)

     

    And if I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    I’d buy you equipment for your farm

    Maybe a SeedHawk or a ConservaPak

     

    And if I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a K-Hart

    A nice no-till disk opener

    And if I had a million dollars, I’d buy hybrid seed

     

    If I had a million dollars

    I’d build a tender truck for our farm

    (If I had a million dollars)

    You could help

    You wouldn’t do no harm

     

    If I had a million dollars

    Maybe we could put a three inch pump

    In there somewhere

    We could just go there and fill up sprayers

    Like go on the deck and stuff

    And there’d all be totes and adjuvants laid out for us

    Like little solu-packs and things

    DuPont has solu-pack Group 2s

    But Dow doesn’t have dry Frontline

    Well, can you blame them?

    Yeah!

     

    If I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a sprayer

    But not a Gregson sprayer, that’s cruel

     

    And if I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a low-drift tip

    Yep, like an AirMix or a Wilger

     

    And if I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you special fertilizers

    All them crazy micronutrient claims

     

    And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your leftover Score

    (If I had a million dollars)

    We wouldn’t have to walk to the store

    If I had a million dollars

    We’d take the Peterbilt, ’cause it costs more

     

    If I had a million dollars

    We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner

    But we never did

    Of course we didn’t, we had home cooking

    And real gravy, not ketchup

    That’s right, real gravy made from drippings

     

    If I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a used sprayer

    But not a SpraCoupe sprayer, that’s cruel

     

    And if I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a drone

    A Phantom, or AgEagle

     

    If I had a million dollars

    (If I had a million dollars)

    Well, I’d buy you a GrainVac

    Haven’t you always wanted a GrainVac?

     

    If I had a million dollars

    I’d stop your drift

    If I had a million dollars

    If I had a million dollars

    If I had a million dollars

    If I had a million dollars

    If I had a million dollars

    I would farm!