Sung to the tune of “If I had a Rocket Launcher” by Bruce Cockburn
Here comes the John Deere sprayer — second time today;
All the insects scatter and hope it goes away;
How many larvae murdered only Dow can say;
If I had a low drift nozzle… I’d make somebody spray.
I don’t believe in modes of action and I don’t believe in rates;
I don’t believe in agronomists or their shiny steely spades;
And when I talk with the survivors of that crappy bran bait;
If I had a low drift nozzle… I would calibrate.
On canola field margins one hundred thousand wait;
Smash through truck radiators — or some less humane fate;
Cry for bertha armyworm, sprayed with organophosphate;
If I had a low drift nozzle… I would not hesitate.
I want to raise every chirp — at least I’ve got to try;
Every time I see them munching, with my compound eyes;
Situation desperate, echoes of the hoppers cry;
If I had a low drift nozzle… Some CCA would die.