50 Ways to Get Good Coverage – Parody

Positions for water-sensitive papers.
Key takeaways
  • Just get yourself drops, Bob; use appropriate droplet size for coverage and drift control.
  • Lower the boom, June, and jack up pressure when needed for uniform spray.
  • Get a new tip, Skip, and calibrate, Nate; use a good gauge, Paige, for accurate rates.
  • Buy Agrifac, Jack, or invest in the right fan to match your application.
  • Avoid spraying during inversions; watch inversion drift in morning light and time applications wisely.

This text was generated by OpenAI GPT 5 Mini

50 Ways To Get Good Coverage

Sung to the tune of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon.

The problem is all inside your barley canopy

The answer’s easy if you find it empirically

I’d like to help in your quest for efficacy

There must be fifty ways to get good coverage

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude

Furthermore, I hope my application won’t be lost or misconstrued

But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude

There must be fifty ways to get good coverage

Fifty ways to get good coverage

Lower the boom, June

Get a new fan, Stan

You don’t need to drive slow, Bo

Just get yourself drops

Jack up the press, Bess

You don’t need to discuss much

Just get a new tip, Skip

And get yourself drops

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain

I wish there was something I could do to give you pest control again

I said I appreciate that and would you please explain

About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we both just spray a bit tonight

And watch inversion drift in the morning light

And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right

There must be fifty ways to get good coverage

Fifty ways to get good coverage

Buy Agrifac, Jack

Get a good gauge, Paige

You might need to drive slow, Joe

Just get yourself drops

Do calibrate, Nate

You don’t need to discuss much

Just do a good job, Bob

And get yourself drops

About the Author

Do More With This Article

Want to use this article in your own work? Print it or use our citation generator below.

Reference
Wolf, Tom. (2015). 50 Ways to Get Good Coverage – Parody. Sprayers 101. https://sprayers101.com/50-ways/ (Accessed on April 14, 2026 at 19:21)

Search Sprayers 101

Search our archive of expert-written, data-driven analysis of spraying techniques, equipment, strategies, and more.