Pallet of Roundup

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About Tom Wolf (Nozzle_Guy)

Tom Wolf is based in Saskatoon, SK and has 33 years research experience in the spraying business. He obtained his BSA (1987) and M.Sc. (1991) in Plant Science at the University of Manitoba, and his Ph.D. (1996) in Agronomy from the Ohio State University. Tom focuses on practical advice that is research-based to improve the efficiency of producers.

See all posts by Tom Wolf (Nozzle_Guy).

Pallet of Roundup

Sung to the tune of “Stairway to Heaven”, by Spirit…, Led Zeppelin



There’s a farmer who’s sure all canola is gold

And she’s buying a pallet of Roundup.

When she gets there she knows, if the Co-op’s all closed

With an axe she can get what she came for.

Ooh, ooh, now she’s stealing a pallet of Roundup.


There’s a tweet on her phone but she wants to be sure

‘Cause you know how few words have no meaning.

She hurries on-line to hear a scientist pine:

“Sometimes glyphosate causes resistance.”


Ooh, it makes me wonder,

Ooh, it makes me wonder.


There’s a feeling I get when I look to the shed,

And my John Deere is crying for spraying.

In my thoughts I have seen clouds of drift through the trees,

And the voices of hipsters from T’rawno.


Ooh, it makes me wonder,

Ooh, it really makes me wonder.


And it’s whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,

Weed resistance will lead us to reason.

And a new day will dawn for crop rota-tion,

And the fields they will be more di-verse.


If there’s a kochia in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now,

Glufosinate will probably get it clean.

Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run

There’s still time to change your crop sequence.

And it makes me wonder.


Your Handler’s foaming and it won’t slow, in case you don’t know,

The sprayer’s calling you to join it,

Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know

Your pallet waits at the CPS?


And as we spray on down the field

Our booms higher than our yield.

There walks a corporation we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

How everything’s still controlled by Roundup.

And if you listen to research

The truth will come to you at last.

When integrated weed management

Protects us from weed resistance.


And she’s buying a pint of Roundup.