Tag: poem

  • Oh the Places You’ll Spray – Parody

    Oh the Places You’ll Spray – Parody

    Enjoy our take on a Dr. Seuss work-of-art. We’re sure the fine doctor would want to end resistant pig weed’s reign of terror as much as we do. Hear us recite it in the sound bar, read it yourself, or head to the bottom of the article to see the talented Bridgette Readel (@bmreadel) read it for you. Enjoy!

    Press Play to hear the audio version of this article

    In the home farm’s west field,
    where the soybeans won’t grow,
    and the wind blows the soil from deep tillage you know,
    and no pollinators come, excepting old crows
    is the patch of resistant pigweed.

    And downhill in the boundary, some neighbours say,
    if you look close enough you can still see today,
    where herbicide persisted,
    in the places it drifted,
    from the winds that took it away.

    How did it drift?
    How did it get there?
    And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
    from the home farm’s west field where the soybeans won’t grow?
    Look to the sprayer.
    Look close, and you’ll know.

    You won’t see Coarse nozzles.
    You will see high booms
    that wobble and bounce on a sprayer that zooms
    in headwinds too high
    in the late afternoon.
    They may even spray by the light of the moon!

    Check the chemical shed.
    Crack the door, just a fraction.
    You’re likely to see
    A lone mode of action.

    “Tell me how,” says the farmer
    “I’ll do what you say.”
    “But I only have so many hours in the day
    to spray the west field where the soybeans won’t grow,
    and battle the pigweed that simply won’t go.”

    “Oh the things you can do! So much can be done!”
    “Learn to spray in light winds, in the day, in the sun!”
    “Lower booms, use more water, use droplets so Coarse.”
    “We’ve told you before…
    (you will note we are hoarse.)”

    The farmer said nothing, just gave us a glance.
    We could tell he was thinking of time, effort and cash.
    “Driving slow improves coverage,
    and you can make up the time,
    with faster fills, longer booms, and more precise A-B lines.”

    That was long, long ago.
    Let’s check in today,
    and see if the problems have withered away.

    In the home farm’s west field,
    where the soybeans now grow,
    and cover crops cling to the soil down below,
    the pollinators buzz because drift doesn’t blow.

  • Sprayers Haiku 2017

    Sprayers Haiku 2017

    In 2016 we asked the Twitterverse to play along as we wrote sprayer poems in the form of haiku. The response was tremendous and the poems were so well done. We scooped them up into an article called #SprayerHaiku.

    Well, we couldn’t help ourselves. On a nostaglic impulse, we did it again in 2017 and our Twitter followers rose to the occasion with a new batch of thoughtful Haiku! While we admit that a few people miscounted the syllables (5-7-5) their efforts make them worthy of a reprint.

    The best submission, @HortGuy85, won a Sprayers101 Mug! It was his Yoda meme that put him over the top. You’ll have to read all the way to the end to see it.

    Do I spray or not
    Follow thresholds for guidance
    Not rocket science
    (@TraceyBaute)

    Have pesticide spill?
    Protect yourself first and call
    Spills Action Centre.
    (@ONspraysafety)

    Two sprayer experts
    With a new mug up for grabs
    Making poets of farmers
    (@megnmoran)

    Keep out after spray
    Restricted Entry Interval
    Tell others always
    (@ONspraysafety)

    When spraying your crop,
    Don’t forget to #MixItUp
    Spray multiple Groups
    (@Bayer4CropsCa)

    Modify water,
    use the proper adjuvants,
    droplet on target
    (@edakag1)

    (To the tune of Red Solo Cup)
    Their green soybeans cupped,
    I shouldn’t have filled you up,
    Their lawyers’ party!
    (@ZRAgri)

    Fine droplets drift off
    Float on the pre-dawn still air
    Keeping me employed
    (@Spraydriftgirl)

    Dicamba Nozzles:
    Use TTI Ultra Coarse
    Xtend the boom
    (@Johannaburrows)

    I know two rinses
    After spraying Odyssey
    Still nukes Canola
    (@DavidKucher)

    Roses are red,
    Violets may be blue,
    They need spraying too
    (@HortResearchKTT)

    Assume tomatoes
    Will be injured if even
    They smell dicamba
    (@ontariotomato)

    Spray on autosteer
    but watch for field obstacles
    ****, down for repairs
    (@ontariotomato)

    Driving sprayer fast
    Does not save as much time as
    Filling, cleaning fast.

    Sprayer slows at turn,
    Pressure drops, gaps in the spray.
    Minimum 2 bar.

    Dry, still, cloudless eve
    Why did my pesticide drift?
    Thermal inversion.

    Single tank rinse
    After spraying dicamba
    Too much residue

    Contorted will be
    Your berry growing career
    If Tordon you use
    (@HortGuy85)

  • #SprayerHaiku

    #SprayerHaiku

    On the morning of February 27, 2016 (a Saturday) a Twitter conversation sprung up that deserved to be captured in an article. Tom was waiting in the Prince Edward Island Airport with time on his hands and I was home in Southern Ontario. He dropped me a line on twitter, and I responded. When two creative people have an idyll conversation, you can count on it going sideways – you just never know how.

    In this case, one of us wrote a short poem about spraying. Don’t judge… we like what we do so this is what we call “fun”. We noticed it was very much like a Haiku. Here’s a definition snatched from Wikipedia:

    The haiku is a Japanese verse in three lines. Line one has 5 syllables, line two has 7 syllables and line three has 5 syllables. Haiku is a mood poem and it doesn’t use any metaphors or similes.”

    They’re often quite beautiful and evocative of natural scenes… ours assuredly weren’t. They were, however, pretty darn funny and a couple bordered on clever! As we fired them back and forth, others jumped into the conversation with #SprayerHaiku of their own.

    And so, for posterity, and in no particular order, here are the poems that flew through Twitter that Saturday. Snap your fingers appreciatively.

    Spray hits canopy
    Drops bounce, move, try to find way
    Stochastic forces.

    Beautiful hills, slopes
    Speed goes up, down constantly
    PWM

    Drops in canopy
    Lots on top, few in bottom
    Sorry, that’s normal.

    Your goal: more acres.
    You want to drive really fast.
    Don’t! Fill fast instead.

    Clear skies early morn.
    Temperature Inversion!
    Don’t dare spray right now.

    His girlfriend was wrong.
    Three inch very effective
    for sprayer fill line.

    Spray boom like bird wings:
    Proper distance just theory,
    without height control.

    Agitator churns.
    Chemistry runs through plumbing.
    Protecting our crops

    Nozzles spray gently.
    Some drops coarse, many too small.
    Pressure and speed fall

    Spray cloud flows downhill
    in the peaceful morning calm.
    Dangerous beauty

    Pressure reads 50
    on the fancy new touchscreen.
    Should you believe it?

    Just trying to do
    my best. Haikus make you think.
    This will work out well.

    Sprayer moves swiftly
    across green plain, swath by swath,
    protecting young crop.

    Spray drift is real bad
    says everyone all the time.
    Well, it’s very true!

    My tank is Jell-O.
    Mixing is not the problem.
    Just blame the chem rep.
    (@PennerBrian)

    Seriously these
    Haikus need to be a thing.
    Lots of potential.
    (@jddyck)

    Filled tank in minutes.
    Now filters are full of sh!t.
    Productivity?
    (@PennerBrian)

    Spring sun melting snow
    Walking yard in rubber boots
    We’ll calibrate soon.

    Small targets, small drops
    And for large targets, large drops.
    That’s my rule of thumb.